hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
