I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
