Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
