so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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