You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
