i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
