Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
