why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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