Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
