is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
