yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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