hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
