We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
