A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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