K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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