Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
