i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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