Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
