I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
