i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize