The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
