i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize