I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
