Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
