Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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