your room smells of hookers.
And success
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize