My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
