After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
