Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
