therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have so many feelings about this burrito
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
