I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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