goodnight i made you a song goodbye
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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