It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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