i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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