i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have tasted many bathrooms
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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