You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
my liver is dry heaving
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
