Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize