Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
