do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
