You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
