peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
