she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
