The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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