If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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