with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
