Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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