in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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