you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
