You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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