I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
