some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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