Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
