Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
