dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
