Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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