we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
