i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
