New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
