He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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