The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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