Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
