so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
this is an emotional support booty call
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
