Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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