If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
