I puked a lego.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
